House Arrest

I just saw Julie & Julia and needed to post something.

Since the last time I've updated, I've finished my first semester of seminary. Yes, I'm officially a theologian. I should have a bachelor's in theology within the next semester or two, the Dean of our school has yet to figure that out (it is a new seminary and I'm in it's very first class). I'm not sure when we start back up again, but I do know that our immediate goal is to attract more students.

I've been to court and have been convicted of a second DUI (within seven years, but just barely). This requires me to pay approximately $5000 in fines and to go to 72 hours of alcohol screening (3 hour classes at $20 a pop) as well as a M.A.D.D. class ($40). I have to pay $140 a month toward my fines, if I can't pay, I get sent back to jail, mostly likely to the wonderful work furlow section. I will be sure not to end up there because in the fifteen days I was there, two guys had blankets thrown over them and beaten, or so I'd heard. My license has also been suspended for a year. I spent 15 days in tent city and froze my man parts off trying to sleep at night. About 11 of those nights I didn't get more than 3-5 hours of sleep (mostly it was three). I had to be clean shaven in order to leave, shaving was done with cheap ass single blade razor that grazed at my face and neck more than removed my hair. Oh, and the paperwork said there would be space heaters in the tents, but there are not.

It was an interesting stay. I don't know if I passed for straight, but I don't think anyone who figured me out, figured me out right away. I was blessed enough to have a mostly decent group of guys. There was one guy that made me uncfortable with his comments about my gas, or perhaps it was that I'm gay. I wasn't sre what it was about, but I could definitely feel something was up with this guy. The guy in the bunk above me was pretty cool, was a couple of the guys that were in one of the holding cells with me.

Of interest were the time I was sent to ICE, which is Joe Arpaio's version immigration and his detention officers scratching their heads about the incident once I spoke. Another incident was when a Mexican guy was walking by the line for commissary asked a guy about four people ahead of me if he was Chicano and then said there was going to be a meeting. He continued to walk down the line, stopped and looked at me and then continued his search for Mexicans. Yes, the ethnic groups have meetings in jail, even though (as Keith said), they get to leave every day and their cars are parked just outside of that fence.

As of now, I'm on house arrest, but can go to work and church (once a week to church, I'm waiting on an approval to go more often). It costs me $384 a month. I also have to blow into a breathalyzer machine when ever the damn things goes off. I have to be careful not to have spicy food or mint around the time it goes off or it can give a false reading. I am glad, however to be home and sleeping in my comfortable bed with heating and stuff and I still pray for the guys who are still there and have lot of time to go. It almost makes me forget that I've lost a certain level of freedom until about March 20.

If you're wondering....

I'm still around and I haven't abandoned my blog. I'm doing well in seminary and am still trying to put my spiritual gifts into practice. I'm also getting more opportunities to sing the way I want in church and have started taking Gospel lessons with Reverend Charlotte.

Letter to Logo

I wrote the following letter to Logo after having watched An Englishman in New York:

Last night I was lucky enough to catch An Englishman in New York. Since I was in college and learned about gay culture and the drag culture within it. The former Lambda League as Arizona State has a book in its library called Drag Diaries. In this book I became familiar with well known drag queens such as Lypsyncha, Lady Bunny, RuPaul and Quentin Crisp. I have maintained my fascination with Quentin Crisp and even rented Orlando just because he was in it (playing Queen Elizabeth I).

When I saw previews for An Englishman in New York I became very excited that I'd have the chance to learn a little more about Quentin Crisp. Keep this in mind, whenever I mention the name Quentin Crisp around other people my age, I get the strangest looks because they know idea who I'm talking about. Nonetheless, I was very happy I saw the movie. One of the reasons was the hear what an older gay man had to say (we don't value our elderly as much as we should), and what he'd experienced. People forget what a struggle it was to be able to live openly as many of us do today.

The part of the movie that really stood out to me was the part about when AIDS started to appear in gay men. It reminded me that many people in the '80's had very little chance of survival. In the scene where a leather man confronted Quenin about the AIDS being a "fad," it reminded me of how grateful I am that I still have most of my friends. Many of them would have been long gone in the '80's. It made realize what an awful scourge AIDS was to our community. Not only were people dying, but others, who'd had to create their own families, were losing their newfound family members.

There are some that say AIDS is God's curse on our community. That would be like saying breast cancer is God's curse on women. In other words, it's a foul, cold-hearted, uncompassionate and glib comment. I don't agree with these comments. Being a young theologian, I prefer to look at the fact that the medical breakthroughs in the last twenty years show his mercy on all of us. Every day when I see my friends who are infected with HIV, I'm grateful that the still have HIV and not AIDS. People may say that it's they who are suffering, but many of them live full happy, lives (except for the burnden of informing people of their condition). I choose to praise God that my friends are still here and I don't have to live my life without them. I love them very much and I'm very grateful I don't have to find out how sad I'd be if I'd lost most of them.

Adventures in Seminary

As some of you may already know, I'm attending seminary. Anyway, I did well on my first quiz in my Biblical Greek class, but someone scored higher than me and I'm not happy about it. Anyway, I have six taxonomies due on Friday and am nowhere near being done with it. On the bright side, I've done all the reading I need to do, but I now I need to logically order them and stuff.

I think it's either due tomorrow or Saturday. I'm really not looking forward to an other test tonight and then a marathon class tomorrow night and all day Saturday.

LORD HELP ME NOW!

Two Weeks Completed!

I've completed my day 14 workout of P90X and I'm feeling much better. I'm getting that endorphin release that feels so good. Bending down to pick things up is easer, so is getting in and out of cars. It sounds funny, but you notice these things when you're large. I weighed myself first thing this morning and weighed 227. Finally under 230. 27 Pounds to go. I just have to watch my knee in that plyometrics exercise and not overdo it.
Also I switched from Monster Milk (weight gainers simply make no sense for fat people, right, even though I did really like it) to Probolic-SR (21 grams of glutamine per serving, it's good for recovery and digestion!).

You don't see this every day

This was the game winning score in a European soccer game. Pretty darn cool. I would make a football comparison, but you get a much larger window to hit in football.

Comfort

Things in my life have changed quite a bit this year. I guess I kind of knew it was coming, but didn't know exactly what it would be. Last Sunday, I found out that I'm going to have a part in my church's youth ministry. I've been wanting to do something for gay youth who need some guidance through their teenage years, it's a lot to figure out.
I went to my church's music group rehearsal last Tuesday and Pastor Charlotte starting teaching us two new songs. GOSPEL SONGS! Finally. I've been wanting to do that since.....well, for a long time.
I'm finding a lot of peace, as well as "comfort and joy." I feel as though my life is back on track. I'm not saying there isn't growth to be had, I'm just saying I'm finally on a bullet train to somewhere. It's good to know that I'm heading where I belong. Sometimes you just reach a level of joy that just makes you want to run out into the streets and tell everyone one about it. I guess now I understand why some people can't help but talk about Jesus. When you find that kind of joy and happiness, you just feel like you're just gonna BLOW UP if you don't share it. That's the great thing about being in a music group at my church. Not only do I get to share it, I get to sing about it!
I do want to make sure it's known that life isn't going to be perfect, going forward, but I am prepared for it. I know I don't get more than I can handle and everything will be for the good with it's over and done with.

Here's to life!

Here is the video I saw (Thanks Janelle Monae) that made me feel the need to post this blog:

Cee-Lo |MTV Music