I had a wonderful time at the wedding last nigth, but I am very glad it's over. What was really funny was that I was the best man and managed some of the maid of honor duties. For example, the bride wanted me to help her put on her wedding gown, most to make sure her undergarments were set to make her look her best and to lace up the corset so she looked her best. It ended up taking nearly an hour to make sure the gown was sitting the right way and she was very happy to see her boobs were very prominently set. I think some members of her family didn't know what to think about the best man being there to help the bride into her gown. Anyway, she was very happy with how she looked and even I was impressed with my own handy work.
Well, we got to the church and people started to show up. Then I saw my mom and I was a little shocked. She went to have her hair done by someone who is very good at what he does, but the do she had was just not her. Something told me the wedding was going to be a little off. We got through the ceremony and then went to Scorpion Gulch at South Mountain to take some pictures. It was a REALLY cool setting for pictures. By the time were done with that I was REALLY hungry and we headed back to the hall for the reception.
About a half hour after getting to the reception, the bride found me and told me, "I need you to help me tie my dress up." Her dress had a train which could be tied up by a system of color coded strings and loops. We went to look for an empty room and were about to go into an electrical closet when I told her nobody would care if I went into the restroom to help her. So you have to picture the bride and the best man in the women's restroom of the wedding hall. The bride is holding the back part of her gown over her head and I'm matching the strings to the loops to strings so that the train part of her gown was tied up so it cascaded instead of flowing onto the ground.
The food was to be served from 5-7. I had two very strong margaritas by the time they served the food and was about to walk to the jack in box when I saw the food coming out. Finally! I'm glad I waited because the food was pretty good.
We did a lot of dancing but my shining moment was when I gave my toast to the bride and groom. Giving the best man's speech/toast was on my list of things to do before I die. Apparently, I gave a very good speech/toast because I received quite a bit of applause and a lot of compliments. Later my mother told about how quiet it became while I was speaking and a lot of my family told my mom what a great job they thought I did. I mostly mentioned how they have to be able to forgive each other to stay together, no matter how hard that may be and they both have to think of the other as the greatest person in the world.
At one point I started crashing and my aunts kept asking me to dance. I was starting to get REALLY crabby so I decided tohave a pepsi so that I'd come back. It worked and before I knew it, I was tearing up on the dance floor, again. BTW, I'd never heard of the Cupid Shuffle before last night.
Toward the end of the night, I'd noticed the bride was wandering between her very good friend and everyone else. I walked over and realized she was having some tequila (which she was drinking very slowly). I was surprised to see her drinking it because she's not much of a drinker. I then went to sit with some of my family on my mom's side, next to my older sister. She and I chatted for a while before everyone decided it was time to round people up and get out. I got up and was talking to my mom and then the bride walked up to me. I told her congratulations, again and she hugged me and was all happy about the wedding. I told her that I was suprised her gown held up for the entire day and her eyes got big and she said, "I KNOW." I am completely serious. Her dress did not move out of place the entire day and she was working it (dancing). I then realized she was hanging on to me and I asked her if she was drunk and she dropped her head on my shoulder for second and then started laughing this high pitched laugh. Then I started laughing at her because she was drunk and then she started laughing because I was laughing at her. People that were still there started gathering around her and it really because a scene, but in a good way. Like when everybody is kind talking about what they liked and what they were happy about, like the organist at the church (which impressed even me). The bride and my mom were laughing because her mom was upset that she as a little drunk, maybe even just tipsy. Then my brother (the groom) walked up and she held onto him and said that she was embarassed because her mother was upset about her being drunk. He told her, "You don't live here anymore." We all had a good laugh about that and then started moving outside.
My mom and I were really hungry and my dad had already left, so I was her ride home. I told my mom we would go to Jack in the Box first. After that, we went to my brother's house because he needed to get his car. He came to the door and I could him telling his new wife that myself and my mother had arrived. I hear scream (because she was glad we were there) and asked me to help her get the gown back off. I helped her out of it and I told her to start posing for my mom the way she was doing in the undergarments before the wedding (the undergarments were a corset and something that resembled a hoopskirt without the hoops.
I took my brother to get his car and then stopped at Jack in the Box for them on the way back to get my mom. Before my mother and I left, they wanted to open their gifts and the bride decided she'd had enough of being drunk and was greatful for her taco. I also un-did my mother's do. When I was done, it looked like her head was a grenade and someone had pulled the pin. By this time it was 2:20am and I figured my brother was very anxious to consumate his marriage so I encouraged my mother to get going.
I am very proud of my brother and I wish him the best and am feeling very elated to have been the best man at his wedding.