Merry Christmas Everyone. As we are all with our family and our friends, I would like everyone to to remember the the people who have nobody to spend Christmas with and have no home. Also, we should remember the gay youth who have been thrown out into the street because they are gay. We should also remember those transgendered people who are consdered to be freaks by many of us, who, like our gay homeless youth, have no other option, but to turn to prostitution or adult films to survive. We should all be grateful this wasn't our lot in life and remember this next time we complain about our nosy neigbors or our crappy cellphone service (myself included). We should remember those who are addicted to drugs or alcohol and have no other outlet because they can't afford healthcare and make too much to be covered by the state and end up wasting their lives away. I could have been one of those people, but for the grace of God, I am still here.
So next time you unwrap a gift that sucks or is cheap or you have absolutely no use for, remember, someone else out there would be happy just to have the company of that person who gave you that gift.
Merry Christmas to all of you. I know you can't always give me your time, your attention or any material gifts, but am glad to have you nonetheless. I grateful to have a roof over my head and food to eat (my mother's cooking is rather delicious, I might add, just ask Lindsay Voitik). I glad to have my hyper-extended family, who I love very much and people who have become part of my family who are not blood relatives.
I am also grateful for my church family, who have welcomed me and made me feel a part of their family (especially for Pastor Adero, who introduced me to the church, and her partner Jan).
I am also grateful for my parents. My mother still thinks there's a chance I turn straight, but we'll let her think that. I am grateful she never turned her back on me and loved me nonetheless.
Most of all, I am grateful for my God. My God who is with me every day and help me and heals me and reminds me that I can do anything, with him and who saved me from myself. He loves me no matter what (even if some of his other believers seem to think otherwise.
Merry Christmas to all of you.
I'm going to leave with a passage from my favorite of the New Testament, the Gospel According to Luke (NLT) Chapter 2 Verses 1-20:
The Birth of Jesus
1 At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. 2 (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. 4 And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. 5 He took with him Mary, his fiancée, who was now obviously pregnant.
6 And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. 7 She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.
The Shepherds and Angels
8 That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. 9 Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, 10 but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. 11 The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! 12 And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”
13 Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,
14 “Glory to God in highest heaven,
and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”
15 When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
16 They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. 17 After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. 18 All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, 19 but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. 20 The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The Parable of the Cigarette Butts
During my unfortunate incarceration, there were times when if we didn't pick up trash thrown bout the rock and gravel, also known as the tent area, we wouldn't be able to make use of the commissary. One particular day, it was closed for most of the day and a detention officer (who really had something to prove) was constantly walking around looking for garbage. She would make these very obnoxious announcements about picking up trash and they'd kinda ramble on and on. Now, let me reiterate the fact that most of the people in our area were misdemeanor offenders, DUI, drug possesion, petty offenses, and I'm convinced all of us are there to create jobs and raise money for the state/county, but that's another matter. We slept in military-style tents where the sides could be rolled up and people around could see the inside of our tents.
Anyway, I slept in a corner of the tent I was in and guys from other tents would like to hang our right outside of it and smoke. When they were done they would throw their cigarette butts and matches on the ground after having forced us to inhale their tar and carcinogen-filled fumes. Lovely. On the particular day I mentioned earlier, I decided to get up and pick up trash. As I was picking up every single tiny piece of trash, at this point it was cigarette butts, I was fuming (no pun intended) about having to pick up other peoples' cigarette butts. I hated the fact that I would have to breath in those tumor causing, teeth-staining, smelling, puking plumes of smoke (that I hate) and then have to pick up the product that caused it. I was not happy.
Then it occurred to me,
"How do you think God feels when he has to clean up YOUR mess?
Ok, Lord, got it. It was a situation where the point was definitely made. Lucky for me, God isn't like that. He's quite a bit more patient than me. He knows I do dumb things and when I fall, he kinda of just sighs and says, "Come on, get back up." He doesn't even tell me to stop crying.
Anyway, I slept in a corner of the tent I was in and guys from other tents would like to hang our right outside of it and smoke. When they were done they would throw their cigarette butts and matches on the ground after having forced us to inhale their tar and carcinogen-filled fumes. Lovely. On the particular day I mentioned earlier, I decided to get up and pick up trash. As I was picking up every single tiny piece of trash, at this point it was cigarette butts, I was fuming (no pun intended) about having to pick up other peoples' cigarette butts. I hated the fact that I would have to breath in those tumor causing, teeth-staining, smelling, puking plumes of smoke (that I hate) and then have to pick up the product that caused it. I was not happy.
Then it occurred to me,
"How do you think God feels when he has to clean up YOUR mess?
Ok, Lord, got it. It was a situation where the point was definitely made. Lucky for me, God isn't like that. He's quite a bit more patient than me. He knows I do dumb things and when I fall, he kinda of just sighs and says, "Come on, get back up." He doesn't even tell me to stop crying.
Friday, December 11, 2009
House Arrest
I just saw Julie & Julia and needed to post something.
Since the last time I've updated, I've finished my first semester of seminary. Yes, I'm officially a theologian. I should have a bachelor's in theology within the next semester or two, the Dean of our school has yet to figure that out (it is a new seminary and I'm in it's very first class). I'm not sure when we start back up again, but I do know that our immediate goal is to attract more students.
I've been to court and have been convicted of a second DUI (within seven years, but just barely). This requires me to pay approximately $5000 in fines and to go to 72 hours of alcohol screening (3 hour classes at $20 a pop) as well as a M.A.D.D. class ($40). I have to pay $140 a month toward my fines, if I can't pay, I get sent back to jail, mostly likely to the wonderful work furlow section. I will be sure not to end up there because in the fifteen days I was there, two guys had blankets thrown over them and beaten, or so I'd heard. My license has also been suspended for a year. I spent 15 days in tent city and froze my man parts off trying to sleep at night. About 11 of those nights I didn't get more than 3-5 hours of sleep (mostly it was three). I had to be clean shaven in order to leave, shaving was done with cheap ass single blade razor that grazed at my face and neck more than removed my hair. Oh, and the paperwork said there would be space heaters in the tents, but there are not.
It was an interesting stay. I don't know if I passed for straight, but I don't think anyone who figured me out, figured me out right away. I was blessed enough to have a mostly decent group of guys. There was one guy that made me uncfortable with his comments about my gas, or perhaps it was that I'm gay. I wasn't sre what it was about, but I could definitely feel something was up with this guy. The guy in the bunk above me was pretty cool, was a couple of the guys that were in one of the holding cells with me.
Of interest were the time I was sent to ICE, which is Joe Arpaio's version immigration and his detention officers scratching their heads about the incident once I spoke. Another incident was when a Mexican guy was walking by the line for commissary asked a guy about four people ahead of me if he was Chicano and then said there was going to be a meeting. He continued to walk down the line, stopped and looked at me and then continued his search for Mexicans. Yes, the ethnic groups have meetings in jail, even though (as Keith said), they get to leave every day and their cars are parked just outside of that fence.
As of now, I'm on house arrest, but can go to work and church (once a week to church, I'm waiting on an approval to go more often). It costs me $384 a month. I also have to blow into a breathalyzer machine when ever the damn things goes off. I have to be careful not to have spicy food or mint around the time it goes off or it can give a false reading. I am glad, however to be home and sleeping in my comfortable bed with heating and stuff and I still pray for the guys who are still there and have lot of time to go. It almost makes me forget that I've lost a certain level of freedom until about March 20.
Since the last time I've updated, I've finished my first semester of seminary. Yes, I'm officially a theologian. I should have a bachelor's in theology within the next semester or two, the Dean of our school has yet to figure that out (it is a new seminary and I'm in it's very first class). I'm not sure when we start back up again, but I do know that our immediate goal is to attract more students.
I've been to court and have been convicted of a second DUI (within seven years, but just barely). This requires me to pay approximately $5000 in fines and to go to 72 hours of alcohol screening (3 hour classes at $20 a pop) as well as a M.A.D.D. class ($40). I have to pay $140 a month toward my fines, if I can't pay, I get sent back to jail, mostly likely to the wonderful work furlow section. I will be sure not to end up there because in the fifteen days I was there, two guys had blankets thrown over them and beaten, or so I'd heard. My license has also been suspended for a year. I spent 15 days in tent city and froze my man parts off trying to sleep at night. About 11 of those nights I didn't get more than 3-5 hours of sleep (mostly it was three). I had to be clean shaven in order to leave, shaving was done with cheap ass single blade razor that grazed at my face and neck more than removed my hair. Oh, and the paperwork said there would be space heaters in the tents, but there are not.
It was an interesting stay. I don't know if I passed for straight, but I don't think anyone who figured me out, figured me out right away. I was blessed enough to have a mostly decent group of guys. There was one guy that made me uncfortable with his comments about my gas, or perhaps it was that I'm gay. I wasn't sre what it was about, but I could definitely feel something was up with this guy. The guy in the bunk above me was pretty cool, was a couple of the guys that were in one of the holding cells with me.
Of interest were the time I was sent to ICE, which is Joe Arpaio's version immigration and his detention officers scratching their heads about the incident once I spoke. Another incident was when a Mexican guy was walking by the line for commissary asked a guy about four people ahead of me if he was Chicano and then said there was going to be a meeting. He continued to walk down the line, stopped and looked at me and then continued his search for Mexicans. Yes, the ethnic groups have meetings in jail, even though (as Keith said), they get to leave every day and their cars are parked just outside of that fence.
As of now, I'm on house arrest, but can go to work and church (once a week to church, I'm waiting on an approval to go more often). It costs me $384 a month. I also have to blow into a breathalyzer machine when ever the damn things goes off. I have to be careful not to have spicy food or mint around the time it goes off or it can give a false reading. I am glad, however to be home and sleeping in my comfortable bed with heating and stuff and I still pray for the guys who are still there and have lot of time to go. It almost makes me forget that I've lost a certain level of freedom until about March 20.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
If you're wondering....
I'm still around and I haven't abandoned my blog. I'm doing well in seminary and am still trying to put my spiritual gifts into practice. I'm also getting more opportunities to sing the way I want in church and have started taking Gospel lessons with Reverend Charlotte.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Letter to Logo
I wrote the following letter to Logo after having watched An Englishman in New York:
Last night I was lucky enough to catch An Englishman in New York. Since I was in college and learned about gay culture and the drag culture within it. The former Lambda League as Arizona State has a book in its library called Drag Diaries. In this book I became familiar with well known drag queens such as Lypsyncha, Lady Bunny, RuPaul and Quentin Crisp. I have maintained my fascination with Quentin Crisp and even rented Orlando just because he was in it (playing Queen Elizabeth I).
When I saw previews for An Englishman in New York I became very excited that I'd have the chance to learn a little more about Quentin Crisp. Keep this in mind, whenever I mention the name Quentin Crisp around other people my age, I get the strangest looks because they know idea who I'm talking about. Nonetheless, I was very happy I saw the movie. One of the reasons was the hear what an older gay man had to say (we don't value our elderly as much as we should), and what he'd experienced. People forget what a struggle it was to be able to live openly as many of us do today.
The part of the movie that really stood out to me was the part about when AIDS started to appear in gay men. It reminded me that many people in the '80's had very little chance of survival. In the scene where a leather man confronted Quenin about the AIDS being a "fad," it reminded me of how grateful I am that I still have most of my friends. Many of them would have been long gone in the '80's. It made realize what an awful scourge AIDS was to our community. Not only were people dying, but others, who'd had to create their own families, were losing their newfound family members.
There are some that say AIDS is God's curse on our community. That would be like saying breast cancer is God's curse on women. In other words, it's a foul, cold-hearted, uncompassionate and glib comment. I don't agree with these comments. Being a young theologian, I prefer to look at the fact that the medical breakthroughs in the last twenty years show his mercy on all of us. Every day when I see my friends who are infected with HIV, I'm grateful that the still have HIV and not AIDS. People may say that it's they who are suffering, but many of them live full happy, lives (except for the burnden of informing people of their condition). I choose to praise God that my friends are still here and I don't have to live my life without them. I love them very much and I'm very grateful I don't have to find out how sad I'd be if I'd lost most of them.
Last night I was lucky enough to catch An Englishman in New York. Since I was in college and learned about gay culture and the drag culture within it. The former Lambda League as Arizona State has a book in its library called Drag Diaries. In this book I became familiar with well known drag queens such as Lypsyncha, Lady Bunny, RuPaul and Quentin Crisp. I have maintained my fascination with Quentin Crisp and even rented Orlando just because he was in it (playing Queen Elizabeth I).
When I saw previews for An Englishman in New York I became very excited that I'd have the chance to learn a little more about Quentin Crisp. Keep this in mind, whenever I mention the name Quentin Crisp around other people my age, I get the strangest looks because they know idea who I'm talking about. Nonetheless, I was very happy I saw the movie. One of the reasons was the hear what an older gay man had to say (we don't value our elderly as much as we should), and what he'd experienced. People forget what a struggle it was to be able to live openly as many of us do today.
The part of the movie that really stood out to me was the part about when AIDS started to appear in gay men. It reminded me that many people in the '80's had very little chance of survival. In the scene where a leather man confronted Quenin about the AIDS being a "fad," it reminded me of how grateful I am that I still have most of my friends. Many of them would have been long gone in the '80's. It made realize what an awful scourge AIDS was to our community. Not only were people dying, but others, who'd had to create their own families, were losing their newfound family members.
There are some that say AIDS is God's curse on our community. That would be like saying breast cancer is God's curse on women. In other words, it's a foul, cold-hearted, uncompassionate and glib comment. I don't agree with these comments. Being a young theologian, I prefer to look at the fact that the medical breakthroughs in the last twenty years show his mercy on all of us. Every day when I see my friends who are infected with HIV, I'm grateful that the still have HIV and not AIDS. People may say that it's they who are suffering, but many of them live full happy, lives (except for the burnden of informing people of their condition). I choose to praise God that my friends are still here and I don't have to live my life without them. I love them very much and I'm very grateful I don't have to find out how sad I'd be if I'd lost most of them.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Adventures in Seminary
As some of you may already know, I'm attending seminary. Anyway, I did well on my first quiz in my Biblical Greek class, but someone scored higher than me and I'm not happy about it. Anyway, I have six taxonomies due on Friday and am nowhere near being done with it. On the bright side, I've done all the reading I need to do, but I now I need to logically order them and stuff.
I think it's either due tomorrow or Saturday. I'm really not looking forward to an other test tonight and then a marathon class tomorrow night and all day Saturday.
LORD HELP ME NOW!
I think it's either due tomorrow or Saturday. I'm really not looking forward to an other test tonight and then a marathon class tomorrow night and all day Saturday.
LORD HELP ME NOW!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Two Weeks Completed!
I've completed my day 14 workout of P90X and I'm feeling much better. I'm getting that endorphin release that feels so good. Bending down to pick things up is easer, so is getting in and out of cars. It sounds funny, but you notice these things when you're large. I weighed myself first thing this morning and weighed 227. Finally under 230. 27 Pounds to go. I just have to watch my knee in that plyometrics exercise and not overdo it.
Also I switched from Monster Milk (weight gainers simply make no sense for fat people, right, even though I did really like it) to Probolic-SR (21 grams of glutamine per serving, it's good for recovery and digestion!).
Also I switched from Monster Milk (weight gainers simply make no sense for fat people, right, even though I did really like it) to Probolic-SR (21 grams of glutamine per serving, it's good for recovery and digestion!).
Thursday, July 23, 2009
You don't see this every day
This was the game winning score in a European soccer game. Pretty darn cool. I would make a football comparison, but you get a much larger window to hit in football.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Comfort
Things in my life have changed quite a bit this year. I guess I kind of knew it was coming, but didn't know exactly what it would be. Last Sunday, I found out that I'm going to have a part in my church's youth ministry. I've been wanting to do something for gay youth who need some guidance through their teenage years, it's a lot to figure out.
I went to my church's music group rehearsal last Tuesday and Pastor Charlotte starting teaching us two new songs. GOSPEL SONGS! Finally. I've been wanting to do that since.....well, for a long time.
I'm finding a lot of peace, as well as "comfort and joy." I feel as though my life is back on track. I'm not saying there isn't growth to be had, I'm just saying I'm finally on a bullet train to somewhere. It's good to know that I'm heading where I belong. Sometimes you just reach a level of joy that just makes you want to run out into the streets and tell everyone one about it. I guess now I understand why some people can't help but talk about Jesus. When you find that kind of joy and happiness, you just feel like you're just gonna BLOW UP if you don't share it. That's the great thing about being in a music group at my church. Not only do I get to share it, I get to sing about it!
I do want to make sure it's known that life isn't going to be perfect, going forward, but I am prepared for it. I know I don't get more than I can handle and everything will be for the good with it's over and done with.
Here's to life!
Here is the video I saw (Thanks Janelle Monae) that made me feel the need to post this blog:
I went to my church's music group rehearsal last Tuesday and Pastor Charlotte starting teaching us two new songs. GOSPEL SONGS! Finally. I've been wanting to do that since.....well, for a long time.
I'm finding a lot of peace, as well as "comfort and joy." I feel as though my life is back on track. I'm not saying there isn't growth to be had, I'm just saying I'm finally on a bullet train to somewhere. It's good to know that I'm heading where I belong. Sometimes you just reach a level of joy that just makes you want to run out into the streets and tell everyone one about it. I guess now I understand why some people can't help but talk about Jesus. When you find that kind of joy and happiness, you just feel like you're just gonna BLOW UP if you don't share it. That's the great thing about being in a music group at my church. Not only do I get to share it, I get to sing about it!
I do want to make sure it's known that life isn't going to be perfect, going forward, but I am prepared for it. I know I don't get more than I can handle and everything will be for the good with it's over and done with.
Here's to life!
Here is the video I saw (Thanks Janelle Monae) that made me feel the need to post this blog:
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Disappointment is good for you
Today, as I was working out at the gym, I was thinking about dating again (though, I don't think I'm ready to get into anything serious so why bother?). There are a couple of people who I'd been interested in seeing (on a romantic level). One of my issues that have prevented this in the past is my weight (and my appearance with this particular weight). Since that was the final piece of my getting my act together puzzle, I thought I may be getting to where I am definitely ready to start looking, again. I didn't want to be a broke boyfriend, so that's part of the reason I've kinda strayed from it.
I was feeling good because worked out with my friend Joseph (who used to be a personal trainer) and went hiking with him, yesterday. Today, I worked out with him again and did about a five mile run through a hilly part of tempe when it was 110 degrees out (well, I had to stop at certain points because I wanted to kill myself). When I finally get myself motived, I don't mess around. I like to defy fat people stereotypes.
Anyway, I was having a conversation with a friend on facebook when I remembered someone in whom I'd shown interest. I decided to look at said person's facebook page. And there it was, like a surprise you don't want. "In a relationship with......" I was so upset that I sent a message to said person, who didn't quite get what I meant, right away. I ended up spelling it out. I think he could tell from my tone that I was upset and told me to call him (which was really sweet if you think about it). I decided against doing that. After a little bit of think (seriously, like two minutes), I realized it's probably better that way. I have a lot of things in my past that I really am glad I don't have to share with him. My skanky past doesn't need to be revealed to him and I would really rather this particular person saw in me in a positive light. That and the fact that his ex-is a "friend" of mine. Dating him would look really bad. I ended up telling him that I was glad he found someone who makes him happy and left it at that.
Anyway, even though I was disappointed, I got over it pretty quickly. I guess that's the great thing about faith, you give it to God and forget about it. Maybe it's a sign that now is not the time, maybe something better will come along. Maybe I need to stay single (indefinitely?). I don't know what's ahead, but things are looking up so I'm going to stay motivated to work out and lose this 55 pounds I'd like to see go the way of popped collars.
I was feeling good because worked out with my friend Joseph (who used to be a personal trainer) and went hiking with him, yesterday. Today, I worked out with him again and did about a five mile run through a hilly part of tempe when it was 110 degrees out (well, I had to stop at certain points because I wanted to kill myself). When I finally get myself motived, I don't mess around. I like to defy fat people stereotypes.
Anyway, I was having a conversation with a friend on facebook when I remembered someone in whom I'd shown interest. I decided to look at said person's facebook page. And there it was, like a surprise you don't want. "In a relationship with......" I was so upset that I sent a message to said person, who didn't quite get what I meant, right away. I ended up spelling it out. I think he could tell from my tone that I was upset and told me to call him (which was really sweet if you think about it). I decided against doing that. After a little bit of think (seriously, like two minutes), I realized it's probably better that way. I have a lot of things in my past that I really am glad I don't have to share with him. My skanky past doesn't need to be revealed to him and I would really rather this particular person saw in me in a positive light. That and the fact that his ex-is a "friend" of mine. Dating him would look really bad. I ended up telling him that I was glad he found someone who makes him happy and left it at that.
Anyway, even though I was disappointed, I got over it pretty quickly. I guess that's the great thing about faith, you give it to God and forget about it. Maybe it's a sign that now is not the time, maybe something better will come along. Maybe I need to stay single (indefinitely?). I don't know what's ahead, but things are looking up so I'm going to stay motivated to work out and lose this 55 pounds I'd like to see go the way of popped collars.
Friday, June 26, 2009
I should be doing this more often.
It just occurred to me, as I sat down to write this, that when I do my blog I found motivation to exercise. What do I talk about so much? Being fat and how much I'd rather be in shape. I guess sitting down to write about it makes me face it instead of just bitching about it. I have to deal with it. I have to notice what is bothering me acknowledge that it's not going to fix itself.
Enough about that.
Life is improving. Realizing that my creditors aren't as patient I would like them to be, I'm thinking bankruptcy. I really didn't want to do it because I wanted to honor my obligations, but my creditors aren't that patient. The difficult thing about that, is I have to wait until I can afford lawyer to tell my creditors I can't afford to pay them. If you know a good bankruptcy attorney who is fairly reasonable, let me know.
What else, I'm hanging out with Leslie quite a bit. I guess it just isn't coincidence that she has a friend who lives a block from where I work. I guess she's someone who is meant to be a part of my life. I stay out of trouble around her. She's awesome too. I'm very grateful to have her as friend. I can be very candid with her. I'm also glad to know her business partner, Rhonda, because she's also become a good friend. I feel like they're two guy friends I can trust with a lot stuff.
I'm very happy to be surrounded by them and have a feeling I'll be around them quite a bit, going forward.
Enough about that.
Life is improving. Realizing that my creditors aren't as patient I would like them to be, I'm thinking bankruptcy. I really didn't want to do it because I wanted to honor my obligations, but my creditors aren't that patient. The difficult thing about that, is I have to wait until I can afford lawyer to tell my creditors I can't afford to pay them. If you know a good bankruptcy attorney who is fairly reasonable, let me know.
What else, I'm hanging out with Leslie quite a bit. I guess it just isn't coincidence that she has a friend who lives a block from where I work. I guess she's someone who is meant to be a part of my life. I stay out of trouble around her. She's awesome too. I'm very grateful to have her as friend. I can be very candid with her. I'm also glad to know her business partner, Rhonda, because she's also become a good friend. I feel like they're two guy friends I can trust with a lot stuff.
I'm very happy to be surrounded by them and have a feeling I'll be around them quite a bit, going forward.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
M.I.A. on Real Time with Bill Maher
If you know me, you know that I REALLY like M.I.A. and when I found out she was going to be on Real Time with Bill Maher, I knew I'd find it somewhere on the internet. I did! It was on last night (I don't have HBO), so I had to do a search for it.
She did really well, speaking about the the minority group, the Tamil people, in Sri Lanka. She tell about her experiences attempting to leave the country and things the American pubic wouldn't hav known about otherwise. Many people think about countries like Somalia and Israel when they think about situations like this, but hopefully her appearance on the show will bring more attention to Sri Lanka. Maybe even get other countries to hold Sri Lanka responsible for its appressive treatment of the Tamil.
She did really well, speaking about the the minority group, the Tamil people, in Sri Lanka. She tell about her experiences attempting to leave the country and things the American pubic wouldn't hav known about otherwise. Many people think about countries like Somalia and Israel when they think about situations like this, but hopefully her appearance on the show will bring more attention to Sri Lanka. Maybe even get other countries to hold Sri Lanka responsible for its appressive treatment of the Tamil.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Things have changed
The reason you haven't heard much from me is, I have made some changes in my life that have had some major effects.
I've stopped drinking. I'm not sure how permanent it will be, but I'm only concerned with now and will count on Jesus to let me know if the time to have one ever comes. If not, that's his will and I'll do my best to stay in line with it.
I can't say that I miss, it's saved me a decent amount of money. It's also saved me a fair amount of embarrassment and I think people are taking me a little more seriously. I was a little surprised to see that not everyone was as supportive as I'd expected, but to each their own.
I've started going to church again, regularly. I've even joined the music group, which I'm really excited about. I sang for the first time with the group this last Sunday. I only had one major mistake (I sang when I wasn't supposed to and all of us are mic'd). It's been a bit of a challenge because I'm used to learning from sheet music; here, I have to learn the music by listening and figure out my own part. The other challenge is that I've never sung bass before, which I will be singing once I figure out a bass part (for now, I'm singing the melody). I've also been informed that they may break into two groups. One is going to keep doing contemporary christian music, the other will do gospel music. I will DEFINITELY be a part of the one that does gospel music. I've been listening to a lot of Mahalia Jackson for inspiration. A little bit of the Caravans, too. I think this is where God wants me and he will make me successful if go where he wants me.
Also, the drummer in the church group told me she was going to give me the number for a guy that is forming an R&B/Funk group and he needed a vocalist, so she's giving me his number. I'm really excited about that. Lately, I've been wanting to be a part of a band, funny how I ended up back in music.
I'm also becoming a little more open to the idea of dating.
The really big event that has taken place in my life is that a very good friend of mine has been very supportive of me and has been wanting to hang out a lot. It's been saving us both a lot of money because we're not really going out. I know sometimes we get on each other's nerves, but we really love each other like family.
Things are well, and can only get better every day.
I've stopped drinking. I'm not sure how permanent it will be, but I'm only concerned with now and will count on Jesus to let me know if the time to have one ever comes. If not, that's his will and I'll do my best to stay in line with it.
I can't say that I miss, it's saved me a decent amount of money. It's also saved me a fair amount of embarrassment and I think people are taking me a little more seriously. I was a little surprised to see that not everyone was as supportive as I'd expected, but to each their own.
I've started going to church again, regularly. I've even joined the music group, which I'm really excited about. I sang for the first time with the group this last Sunday. I only had one major mistake (I sang when I wasn't supposed to and all of us are mic'd). It's been a bit of a challenge because I'm used to learning from sheet music; here, I have to learn the music by listening and figure out my own part. The other challenge is that I've never sung bass before, which I will be singing once I figure out a bass part (for now, I'm singing the melody). I've also been informed that they may break into two groups. One is going to keep doing contemporary christian music, the other will do gospel music. I will DEFINITELY be a part of the one that does gospel music. I've been listening to a lot of Mahalia Jackson for inspiration. A little bit of the Caravans, too. I think this is where God wants me and he will make me successful if go where he wants me.
Also, the drummer in the church group told me she was going to give me the number for a guy that is forming an R&B/Funk group and he needed a vocalist, so she's giving me his number. I'm really excited about that. Lately, I've been wanting to be a part of a band, funny how I ended up back in music.
I'm also becoming a little more open to the idea of dating.
The really big event that has taken place in my life is that a very good friend of mine has been very supportive of me and has been wanting to hang out a lot. It's been saving us both a lot of money because we're not really going out. I know sometimes we get on each other's nerves, but we really love each other like family.
Things are well, and can only get better every day.
Friday, April 3, 2009
It's been a while
I know I haven't blogged in a while, but I've had a lot of changes take place recently. Last week I was in jail for criminal speeding (no fun). I got through it, but there were times when I thought I was just going to lose it.
Things are changing very rapidly for me and I feel as thought the last three years have been very drastic changes at a rapid pace. I don't know how much longer these changes will continue to rain upon me, but I'm trying to just it go and know that what is happening is for the best and leaving it in God's hands.
TTYL
Things are changing very rapidly for me and I feel as thought the last three years have been very drastic changes at a rapid pace. I don't know how much longer these changes will continue to rain upon me, but I'm trying to just it go and know that what is happening is for the best and leaving it in God's hands.
TTYL
Friday, March 13, 2009
Lisa and Nora
I came across this when looking up stuff on Lisa Moretti (aka Tina Ferrari aka Ivory, etc). I saw this and laughed, and then I'd laugh again sporadically afterward. She really gets her point across.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=3186490
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=3186490
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
My Butt Smells Like Magic Mango
I have this thing about when I go to the restroom, I wipe until the paper is white (or whatever the color of the paper). About two-three years ago, Gary got me using wipes. He said it was because he was "sensitive." I noticed when I use them, I was cleaner a lot faster. I took on this use of wet wipes instead of toilet paper, with the exception of the final wipe. Anyway, I had to go the restroom while I was at work today and had run out of the stash I keep in my desk. Since Big Lots is right across the street, I figured they would have the same thing as the drugstore, but cheaper.
They did have some cheap-o brand that I was afraid would be the same as using my finger, so I decided on the Kandoos. Kandoo is a toilet-paper-like wipe made by Huggies, but I guess it's supposed to be for kids that don't wear diapers anymore or something. Anyway, while I was trying to get the damn things open (which apparently requires a trade certificate), I noticed they were scented. Pictures of melons and island-y fruit. I finally get the adhesive seal removed. "Magic Melon." My ass smells like Magic Melon. What the hell is that. What is so magical about this melon? Does is vaporize klingons? Is it magically delicious? I don't know about anyone else, but expect my.....but the only scent lower extremity (which really isn't a lower extremity if you think about it) should have is ASS SCENT.
Thank you.
They did have some cheap-o brand that I was afraid would be the same as using my finger, so I decided on the Kandoos. Kandoo is a toilet-paper-like wipe made by Huggies, but I guess it's supposed to be for kids that don't wear diapers anymore or something. Anyway, while I was trying to get the damn things open (which apparently requires a trade certificate), I noticed they were scented. Pictures of melons and island-y fruit. I finally get the adhesive seal removed. "Magic Melon." My ass smells like Magic Melon. What the hell is that. What is so magical about this melon? Does is vaporize klingons? Is it magically delicious? I don't know about anyone else, but expect my.....but the only scent lower extremity (which really isn't a lower extremity if you think about it) should have is ASS SCENT.
Thank you.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
What a great day!
Yesterday, I went to help Selma (an older lady with whom I work) with some stuff at her house. Since I was going to be doing some work for her, she wanted to take me to lunch at Blanco. Blanco is a Mexican restaurant at the Borgata in Scottsdale. It's a really cool place with a very relaxed ambiance. The food was really good. Serious. On top of the food being awesome I was kinda hot for our server (his name is James), he's my babydaddy. I love me a beefy man and he was that. Back to the food, we had the nachos for an appetizer and for the entree, I had the carne asada tacos and Selma had chicken enchiladas. The enchilada sauce was pretty similar to La Canasta. In other words, it was pretty damn good. The best part was the tres leches cake. It was the best tres leches I've EVER had. Dear Lord, it was good. Selma said it's best dessert she'd ever had that wasn't chocolate. James (our server) even let me try the mix the make for margaritas (which is made from fresh squeezed lime and orange...mmmmm). I'm still thinking about our server.
After I left Selma's, I met Ruben and Doug at Cherry. Ruben had been drinking and I went there to make sure he had a ride to wherever he needed to go, but someone picked him up. I hung out for a little bit and chatted with Doug. As I was leaving, two women asked me where there was a lesbian bar. I set them to Cash Inn Country. They invited me to come along and I did. There were REALLY cool and a lot of fun. One of the women was a lesbian and the other was like her niece and was straight. I country dance (somewhat effectively) and met a few new people. I ended up finding out the mother of the younger of the two women was dying from cancer and this was their night out as a way to take a break from everything. I also ran into a girl from the Hellraisers and she hung out with us as well.
Later Alma came to get me and we went to BS West. I don't remember of it.
She also made sure I didn't drive home that night, for which I am VERY grateful. I'm still thinking about James......
After I left Selma's, I met Ruben and Doug at Cherry. Ruben had been drinking and I went there to make sure he had a ride to wherever he needed to go, but someone picked him up. I hung out for a little bit and chatted with Doug. As I was leaving, two women asked me where there was a lesbian bar. I set them to Cash Inn Country. They invited me to come along and I did. There were REALLY cool and a lot of fun. One of the women was a lesbian and the other was like her niece and was straight. I country dance (somewhat effectively) and met a few new people. I ended up finding out the mother of the younger of the two women was dying from cancer and this was their night out as a way to take a break from everything. I also ran into a girl from the Hellraisers and she hung out with us as well.
Later Alma came to get me and we went to BS West. I don't remember of it.
She also made sure I didn't drive home that night, for which I am VERY grateful. I'm still thinking about James......
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Close, but no speed dating.
Tonight I went to a fundraiser sponsored by the Hellraisers. They had a speed dating event that raised money for Valley 1 in 10. I was excited to do speed dating, but as it approached, I lost my interest and become more concerned that people wouldn't be intersted in me. I got there and they told me that the event was already taking place (I didn't even think they were going to have me pay for participation, but I still did, it was a fundraiser). Anyway, as I was standing there having my drink (after being sent to the "VIP Area"), I felt comfortable standing behind the border set up to differentiate the two areas. I then realized that people were walking around with sheets of paper that indicated everyone's names of those with whom they'd had a mini-date. At this point, I was glad I got there too late to participate because I figured I would hate to be in a position where nobody indicated any interest in me. I hung out and had a couple of drinks (thank you Mike at BS West) and then talked to a few people and left with Cade, Joe and couple of other guys from my fraternity.
What is with me? I know I hide behind my financial state. Maybe I'm not hiding. Maybe I'm doing them a favor.
Either way, I'm disappointed in myself right about now.
What is with me? I know I hide behind my financial state. Maybe I'm not hiding. Maybe I'm doing them a favor.
Either way, I'm disappointed in myself right about now.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Francois Sagat and Sophia Lamar
It may seem as though these two have nothing to do with each other, but they are actually very closely related and their connection isn't sexuality. They are very different, but have a lot in common.
We'll start with modeling. They are both models (yes, as in fashion) and do some wonderful things in front of the camera. Every so often I have to feed my fascination with their photoshoots. Sophia may sometimes sound like she's spewing vile hatefulness, but she's really making about point about people in society. I think her point is that people do dumb things because there are things about themselves that need work. Rather than work on those things, they choose to keep doing those dumb things. She is very entertaining to listen to and just a little bit scary. But I'd be very intrigued to hear what she has to say about whatever she wants to talk about.
Francois, I don't know much about. I don't watch porn or follow it, so my fascination isn't based in that. There's some fascination in the face that he has a tattoo of a the crescent and the star. I don't know if this is a reference to his faith, his beginnings or both. I'm not really into tattoos, but the face that he chose this as his tattoo. There is also something you can see in his eyes. Something that pulls you right in and makes you wonder what's going on behind them. I'm curious to know how he sees the world.
The main thing I think that really connects the two is art. They are two walking, breathing, living works of arts. I'm not talking about their bodies, or what they've done, but they themselves. Their person. I would love to have a conversation with either of them (actually, I've just decided it's one of the things I'd like to do in my life). There is something very graceful and stately about Francois, but there is also something about him that is very familiar. Sophia has this power about her that makes you want to get close, even though she may tear you limb from limb if you make the wrong move.
I love looking at the art they've been a part of and have tried to figure out what about it draws my eyes. It puts my mind into a different state, possibly even that of adoration.
Blogger's Note: After having read this, I noticed I'd entered "face" when I meant "fact." Freudian slip, perhaps?
We'll start with modeling. They are both models (yes, as in fashion) and do some wonderful things in front of the camera. Every so often I have to feed my fascination with their photoshoots. Sophia may sometimes sound like she's spewing vile hatefulness, but she's really making about point about people in society. I think her point is that people do dumb things because there are things about themselves that need work. Rather than work on those things, they choose to keep doing those dumb things. She is very entertaining to listen to and just a little bit scary. But I'd be very intrigued to hear what she has to say about whatever she wants to talk about.
Francois, I don't know much about. I don't watch porn or follow it, so my fascination isn't based in that. There's some fascination in the face that he has a tattoo of a the crescent and the star. I don't know if this is a reference to his faith, his beginnings or both. I'm not really into tattoos, but the face that he chose this as his tattoo. There is also something you can see in his eyes. Something that pulls you right in and makes you wonder what's going on behind them. I'm curious to know how he sees the world.
The main thing I think that really connects the two is art. They are two walking, breathing, living works of arts. I'm not talking about their bodies, or what they've done, but they themselves. Their person. I would love to have a conversation with either of them (actually, I've just decided it's one of the things I'd like to do in my life). There is something very graceful and stately about Francois, but there is also something about him that is very familiar. Sophia has this power about her that makes you want to get close, even though she may tear you limb from limb if you make the wrong move.
I love looking at the art they've been a part of and have tried to figure out what about it draws my eyes. It puts my mind into a different state, possibly even that of adoration.
Blogger's Note: After having read this, I noticed I'd entered "face" when I meant "fact." Freudian slip, perhaps?
Monday, February 16, 2009
The DRAMAAAA!!---Spoiler Alert!
Well, an other episode of Rupaul's Drag Race.
WOW! Shannel really threw down the damn gauntlet in the lip synch for your life portion. I guess you just have to say fate took over, because had that headdress not fallen off she may not have stolen the judges attention from Akashia. The judges just got so used to seeing her in the bottom three that their eyes automatically went to her in the Lipsynch for Your Life portion of the show. I have to hand it to Shannel, though. She proved that she is the epitome of Vegas performers. Something goes wrong, use it to your advantage. She damn well did that. Congratulations on earning at least an other week, you deserve it. It was just so perfect that she had the opportunity to do exactly what the judges said was wrong about her. The only downside is that she'll be the bitch now that Akashia is gone.
Rebecca also gave us a good showing, as did the extravagant Nina Flowers and Ongina.
I'm so proud of my Nina Flowers, she had a lot going against, but she did her best and impressed the judges. Work it NINA
The winner of this week's challenge was Bebe Zahara Benet. I have to agree with the judges she did an amazing job, but (and this is my opinion only) I don't know that I can say is a standout to me. Maybe there's just too much going on with this show.
PS-What you got in there Miss Jade?
WOW! Shannel really threw down the damn gauntlet in the lip synch for your life portion. I guess you just have to say fate took over, because had that headdress not fallen off she may not have stolen the judges attention from Akashia. The judges just got so used to seeing her in the bottom three that their eyes automatically went to her in the Lipsynch for Your Life portion of the show. I have to hand it to Shannel, though. She proved that she is the epitome of Vegas performers. Something goes wrong, use it to your advantage. She damn well did that. Congratulations on earning at least an other week, you deserve it. It was just so perfect that she had the opportunity to do exactly what the judges said was wrong about her. The only downside is that she'll be the bitch now that Akashia is gone.
Rebecca also gave us a good showing, as did the extravagant Nina Flowers and Ongina.
I'm so proud of my Nina Flowers, she had a lot going against, but she did her best and impressed the judges. Work it NINA
The winner of this week's challenge was Bebe Zahara Benet. I have to agree with the judges she did an amazing job, but (and this is my opinion only) I don't know that I can say is a standout to me. Maybe there's just too much going on with this show.
PS-What you got in there Miss Jade?
Friday, February 13, 2009
I'm so impressed with Beth & Bill
Beth and Bill are local morning radio hosts on 99.9 KEZ (www.kez999.com). Earlier this week when they were talking about things to do, Vinny (I think that's his name) jokingly referenced BS West (a Scottsdale's oldest gay bar), TWICE!
Today, they did "The Mating Game" with three couples, one of which was gay.
I've always noticed they've been very open-minded and have a "live and let live" attitude, but having a gay couple on one of their contests is very impressive, especially when you consider they're a mainstream radio station.
KUDOS to KEZ and Beth and Bill.
Maybe they've have Alfonzo and Buddy from Compete, The Gay Sports Magazine on their show, sometime.
I'm holding my breath.
Today, they did "The Mating Game" with three couples, one of which was gay.
I've always noticed they've been very open-minded and have a "live and let live" attitude, but having a gay couple on one of their contests is very impressive, especially when you consider they're a mainstream radio station.
KUDOS to KEZ and Beth and Bill.
Maybe they've have Alfonzo and Buddy from Compete, The Gay Sports Magazine on their show, sometime.
I'm holding my breath.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
My Dating Profile
I came across this on guys profile on realjock.com.
I thought it might be interesting to do my own.
Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions
I thought it might be interesting to do my own.
| Your dating personality profile: Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active. Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. | Your date match profile: Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape. Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things. Stylish - You cannot put up with someone who is lacking in style. You want an original, someone with flare, someone with good taste. |
Your Top Ten Traits 1. Athletic 2. Stylish 3. Liberal 4. Adventurous 5. Intellectual 6. Religious 7. Wealthy/Ambitious 8. Shy 9. Traditional 10. Sensual | Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Athletic 2. Adventurous 3. Stylish 4. Wealthy/Ambitious 5. Religious 6. Intellectual 7. Traditional 8. Practical 9. Conservative 10. Shy |
Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I'm Sad for Tammie Brown
I watched the second episode of RuPaul's drag race last night and am very sad that Tammie Brown was eliminated.
I think she really stood out among the other contestants (well, except for Nina Flowers). She really does something specific and I guess it just wasn't cut out for this show. Forturnately, she realized this when she was working with Akashia and decided she would get through this challenge and move on.
I am a little sad though. I thought it was really cool to see someone from the new generation of drag performers take on the old Hollywood glamour. Yeah, she was a bit scary looking, but have you seen Bette Davis in some of her movies? I really think she was spot-on with her execution of what she's doing right down to the hairline.
Hopefully Tammie can fill rolls as a child of Lipsinka or something. Either way, I'm glad I had the chance to see her. She did have something the other drag queens didn't. She saw the humor in what she was doing. She was a bit quirky, but that was what was cool about her personna.
If you read this Tammie, I really hope to see more of you in the future.
Best of luck.
I think she really stood out among the other contestants (well, except for Nina Flowers). She really does something specific and I guess it just wasn't cut out for this show. Forturnately, she realized this when she was working with Akashia and decided she would get through this challenge and move on.
I am a little sad though. I thought it was really cool to see someone from the new generation of drag performers take on the old Hollywood glamour. Yeah, she was a bit scary looking, but have you seen Bette Davis in some of her movies? I really think she was spot-on with her execution of what she's doing right down to the hairline.
Hopefully Tammie can fill rolls as a child of Lipsinka or something. Either way, I'm glad I had the chance to see her. She did have something the other drag queens didn't. She saw the humor in what she was doing. She was a bit quirky, but that was what was cool about her personna.
If you read this Tammie, I really hope to see more of you in the future.
Best of luck.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Back on the Wagon
Today, I made myself workout again. The antibiotics I was on should be fizzling away as we speak and the muscle soreness and joint weirdness is going away. Since I haven't had much luck getting someone to commit to working out with me (other than Christina and Cade, and I can't commit to their schedules until I have my own car, back) I decided it's up to me to make it happen. I pulled out my P90X dvds and went to work. Since my weights are at Wayne and Jenny's I decided to workout that would put the least amount of stress on my joints and my ankle. I did core synergystics. Since it was the first time in a while I was able to do real workout, I did the weight-free version.
I will admit that p90X is very difficult, but that has to do with the fact that I'm carrying a lot of weight in my mid-section. Once I get that down, it will be much easier. I also feel really good about myself since having done it. I'm feeling very happy and accomplished. I also thank Tony for letting me use his ankle brace. Hopefully, I should be working out without it by the end of the week.
I plan to get back into the workouts full steam ahead once I move back out of my parents' house.
I'll keep you posted on how that goes. If I get started on it next weekend, I 'll be done with the 90 day cycle by summertime.
Which brings me to an other topic.
I plan to move out next week. It's a little strange to consider because me and my parents have lived together since I was 23 (five and a half years in my own house). I decided it was time to become more responsible for myself and get out and be my own man. I expect to have a lot of support since Jenny and Wayne are also very focused on being in shape, so I really think it's the right move. They're also not drinking alcohol, so I'm looking forward to their encouragement in doing the same, myself.
I have to get a couple of things to get sorted out this week so that move can actually take place, but I'll try to make sure those things are squared away.
I will admit that p90X is very difficult, but that has to do with the fact that I'm carrying a lot of weight in my mid-section. Once I get that down, it will be much easier. I also feel really good about myself since having done it. I'm feeling very happy and accomplished. I also thank Tony for letting me use his ankle brace. Hopefully, I should be working out without it by the end of the week.
I plan to get back into the workouts full steam ahead once I move back out of my parents' house.
I'll keep you posted on how that goes. If I get started on it next weekend, I 'll be done with the 90 day cycle by summertime.
Which brings me to an other topic.
I plan to move out next week. It's a little strange to consider because me and my parents have lived together since I was 23 (five and a half years in my own house). I decided it was time to become more responsible for myself and get out and be my own man. I expect to have a lot of support since Jenny and Wayne are also very focused on being in shape, so I really think it's the right move. They're also not drinking alcohol, so I'm looking forward to their encouragement in doing the same, myself.
I have to get a couple of things to get sorted out this week so that move can actually take place, but I'll try to make sure those things are squared away.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Songs I Miss
This week, a few songs came into my head and I realized how much I LOVE these songs. Unfortunately, I could find Mandalay by La Flavour on itunes, but I did find There But for the Grace of God Go I by Machine. What a great freaking song. I'm going to do drag to it some day.
They just make me want to dance.
There is some serious social commentary in the second one.
Carlos and Carmen Vidal just had a child
A lovely girl with a crooked smile
Now they gotta split 'cause the Bronx ain't fit
For a kid to grow up in
Let's find a place they say, somewhere far away
With no blacks, no Jews and no gays
Chorus:
There but for the grace of God go I
Poppy and the family left the dirty streets
To find a quiet place overseas
And year after year the kid has to hear
The do's the don'ts and the dears
And when she's ten years old she digs that rock 'n' roll
But Poppy bans it from home
Chorus
Baby, she turns out to be a natural freak
Gaining weight and losing sleep.....
And when she's sweet sixteen she packs her things and leaves
With a man she met on the street
Carmen starts to bawl, bangs her head to the wall
Too much love is worse than none at all
Chorus
They just make me want to dance.
There is some serious social commentary in the second one.
Carlos and Carmen Vidal just had a child
A lovely girl with a crooked smile
Now they gotta split 'cause the Bronx ain't fit
For a kid to grow up in
Let's find a place they say, somewhere far away
With no blacks, no Jews and no gays
Chorus:
There but for the grace of God go I
Poppy and the family left the dirty streets
To find a quiet place overseas
And year after year the kid has to hear
The do's the don'ts and the dears
And when she's ten years old she digs that rock 'n' roll
But Poppy bans it from home
Chorus
Baby, she turns out to be a natural freak
Gaining weight and losing sleep.....
And when she's sweet sixteen she packs her things and leaves
With a man she met on the street
Carmen starts to bawl, bangs her head to the wall
Too much love is worse than none at all
Chorus
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Isaiah 2:22
Isaiah 2:22 NLT
Don’t put your trust in mere humans.
They are as frail as breath.
What good are they?
I came across this verse last night (a second time) and didn't realize how much I was going to feel it would really sink in very shortly after. I'll explain.
Last Saturday I met someone who was hitting on me (at least what appeared to be hitting on me to myself and everyone around me, because he was pretty aggressive about it). I followed along the path of my regular neuroses and thought about what could be in the future. The part that really got me excited was when I found out we both actively practice our faith and his seemed very closely aligned with mine. I text him a couple times and last night he called and talked to me (after I'd send him a couple of text messages). After the conversation had gone along he tells me that he should let me know that he has a boyfriend. I guess the emotion that hit was very similar to what emotions you would tie to the first part of the following:
if that didn't work, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-JjNJAkBZc
Anyway, I got over and my glorious emotional victory over it could be felt in the second part of that video. Anyway, it left me with a bad taste in my. More so because I'm guessing this happened to me as a lesson not to do this to anyone, ever again. I got it. What an asshole I must have been to anyone else when I've led someone else to believe what was not the reality. Anyway, he supposed to go to churchh with me Sunday and then for a hike. I knew there was a reason I was liking this thirties stuff. I'm finding I'm getting over things a lot quicker than I used. If I help him find a church he likes, all the better.
Other stuff, I got some very expensive antibiotics that I didn't have to pay for and I am feeling much better, but my muscles are sore (Levaquin is some powerful stuff but has some side affects). Thank you Jesus! I only have one more day on it and hopefully I'll be able to taste food again.
I'm thirty-one, now. Say Happy Birthday.
Thank you.
Don’t put your trust in mere humans.
They are as frail as breath.
What good are they?
I came across this verse last night (a second time) and didn't realize how much I was going to feel it would really sink in very shortly after. I'll explain.
Last Saturday I met someone who was hitting on me (at least what appeared to be hitting on me to myself and everyone around me, because he was pretty aggressive about it). I followed along the path of my regular neuroses and thought about what could be in the future. The part that really got me excited was when I found out we both actively practice our faith and his seemed very closely aligned with mine. I text him a couple times and last night he called and talked to me (after I'd send him a couple of text messages). After the conversation had gone along he tells me that he should let me know that he has a boyfriend. I guess the emotion that hit was very similar to what emotions you would tie to the first part of the following:
if that didn't work, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-JjNJAkBZc
Anyway, I got over and my glorious emotional victory over it could be felt in the second part of that video. Anyway, it left me with a bad taste in my. More so because I'm guessing this happened to me as a lesson not to do this to anyone, ever again. I got it. What an asshole I must have been to anyone else when I've led someone else to believe what was not the reality. Anyway, he supposed to go to churchh with me Sunday and then for a hike. I knew there was a reason I was liking this thirties stuff. I'm finding I'm getting over things a lot quicker than I used. If I help him find a church he likes, all the better.
Other stuff, I got some very expensive antibiotics that I didn't have to pay for and I am feeling much better, but my muscles are sore (Levaquin is some powerful stuff but has some side affects). Thank you Jesus! I only have one more day on it and hopefully I'll be able to taste food again.
I'm thirty-one, now. Say Happy Birthday.
Thank you.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
This Damn Cold
So, earlier this week my allergies got REALLY bad and I thought I was able to fight it off. I kept my humidifier/air purified turned way up and slept with it in my room. I started to feel better. Then yesterday someone walks into the office and says, "You have a cold." I thought I didn't.
Damn her!
She was right.
It started getting really bad last night, like when it feels like someone is sitting on your chest. I didn't want to take mucinex because it breaks up the mucus in your chest so you can cough it up, but it also has a cough suppressant. In my opinion, it defeats itself. You want to be able to cough that crap up.
Anyway, my cough is really bad today and I've been taking an herbal expectorant, on which I can still cough. I started getting sinus headaches too. I'm going to have to miss rugby practice tonight because of it. Damn it.
On to other things. I was trying to arrange my Q & A for the March issue of the magazine and I'd contacted Logo about having RuPaul in the next issue. After making my way through the various channels, I was directed to someone at RuCo. (RuPaul's company). I email her that I did want to do the in Q & A by the end of the first week in February.
I come to work today and there is an email that she is available, in about an hour! I freak out. I wasn't prepared for it to be that soon. I respond telling her that time works for me and I get to work right away putting the questions together. A half hour later, I decide to call and ask if she is going to be available at that time. I find out that slot is taken, but she has an 11:20. Perfect!
It gave me quite a bit more time to work on the questions and make sure there was an office with a computer I could use, and a phone. Buddy was out, so I used his office.
Anyway, the interview went really well and I had a great time on the call.
I even found out what Ping Ting Ting means.
Damn her!
She was right.
It started getting really bad last night, like when it feels like someone is sitting on your chest. I didn't want to take mucinex because it breaks up the mucus in your chest so you can cough it up, but it also has a cough suppressant. In my opinion, it defeats itself. You want to be able to cough that crap up.
Anyway, my cough is really bad today and I've been taking an herbal expectorant, on which I can still cough. I started getting sinus headaches too. I'm going to have to miss rugby practice tonight because of it. Damn it.
On to other things. I was trying to arrange my Q & A for the March issue of the magazine and I'd contacted Logo about having RuPaul in the next issue. After making my way through the various channels, I was directed to someone at RuCo. (RuPaul's company). I email her that I did want to do the in Q & A by the end of the first week in February.
I come to work today and there is an email that she is available, in about an hour! I freak out. I wasn't prepared for it to be that soon. I respond telling her that time works for me and I get to work right away putting the questions together. A half hour later, I decide to call and ask if she is going to be available at that time. I find out that slot is taken, but she has an 11:20. Perfect!
It gave me quite a bit more time to work on the questions and make sure there was an office with a computer I could use, and a phone. Buddy was out, so I used his office.
Anyway, the interview went really well and I had a great time on the call.
I even found out what Ping Ting Ting means.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Don't Eat That
No, this has nothing to do with tossed salad, so need to gross out. Yet.
I went to boot camp today (for rugby) and got there late because of the transportation situation, but still managed to get a bit of exercise. It's amazing how much I miss those guys when I'm not around them all the time. I was doing so-so with my ankle issue, until we did a tackle drill and I took a shoulder to the side of my knee (that sh!t hurts). I managed to get up and do some more (except for the very last thing because I had to barf). I could have done better but....well, I guess there's no excuse, except for the part where I got really dizzy and had a pretty bad headache.
Anyway, I was at Target with my mom a little later and they had samples. You know, like at Costco. You know, you can always trust those Costco samples to be warm (or cold if they need be) and rather tasty. Target, not so much. There was one table where they have had this protein water, the next had fruit shit, and then there was the one that had Archer Farms. I'm guessing Archer Farms is a Target brand because I've never seen it anywhere else. Anyway, they had Archer Farms Macaroni and Cheese (I think some cheddar and something else variety) and Hummus Bread. I tried the mac and cheese and discovered why my little sister is obsessive about smelling her food before she eats it. Had I smelled it, I probably wouldn't have eaten it. Okay, I'm lying, I probably would have tried it anyway. Well, I took a bite of it and told my mother that it tastes like vomit smells. Then having remembered that I barfed earlier, I realized that it tastes like vomit tastes.
Be warned.
I went to boot camp today (for rugby) and got there late because of the transportation situation, but still managed to get a bit of exercise. It's amazing how much I miss those guys when I'm not around them all the time. I was doing so-so with my ankle issue, until we did a tackle drill and I took a shoulder to the side of my knee (that sh!t hurts). I managed to get up and do some more (except for the very last thing because I had to barf). I could have done better but....well, I guess there's no excuse, except for the part where I got really dizzy and had a pretty bad headache.
Anyway, I was at Target with my mom a little later and they had samples. You know, like at Costco. You know, you can always trust those Costco samples to be warm (or cold if they need be) and rather tasty. Target, not so much. There was one table where they have had this protein water, the next had fruit shit, and then there was the one that had Archer Farms. I'm guessing Archer Farms is a Target brand because I've never seen it anywhere else. Anyway, they had Archer Farms Macaroni and Cheese (I think some cheddar and something else variety) and Hummus Bread. I tried the mac and cheese and discovered why my little sister is obsessive about smelling her food before she eats it. Had I smelled it, I probably wouldn't have eaten it. Okay, I'm lying, I probably would have tried it anyway. Well, I took a bite of it and told my mother that it tastes like vomit smells. Then having remembered that I barfed earlier, I realized that it tastes like vomit tastes.
Be warned.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Last year is over, this year is on!
It's funny how every year, at the beginning of the year, I can be so excited about what lies ahead in the new year. By March, I am so sad and disappointed with myself, I've just said "fuck it" by then. Right now, I won't say how many failures I've had last year, but I will point out some things I managed to survive.
1. Foreclosure. I've found that this was a pretty big deal. It sucks to lose something you spend years to acquire and to have to lose it Life goes on. I also have to mention how greatful I am to Rick Hagfeldt for letting me stay with him when I really felt I had no place to go (or places to go where I didn't want to stay, or didn't feel right staying there). If you read this Rick, thank you. I am very blessed to have a friend like you. I wish you the best with your new partner, he's hot.
2. Alcohol Abuse. Well, I still engage in too much drinking every now and then, but am now deciding that's not how I want to be known. I've also started taking precautions to be sure I'm not driving drunk. Also, I'm finding my friends have really stepped up when show that I'm taking steps myself. Thank you Anton, Tony, Rocky, Brenda, Eric, Orlando and my parents. Thank you for keeping me in touch with what I know I need to do. I needed to feel like a real shit for my behavior and I'm glad you all had to balls to tell me I needed to get my shit together.
3. Carjacking. Shit happens, but I'm glad Joseph was with me. If not, I would have frozen my ass off without my jacket you grabbed for me. Rather than complian, I'm grateful that I had something to steal, rather than be the person who did the stealing.
4. The Phoenix Storm Board of Directors. Dear Lord.....thank you for helping me get through this. There were times when I felt I stood alone, but I realized I was there to be a voice for the players and that's what I did. I may not be the most dependable person on the board (and thank God I only finished someone's term at Secretary), but I did my best considering the challenging year I was living. I'm still a member, but can now take an at-large member position (like I'd previously thought). Thank you Steve, for your confidence in me. I only wish I could have made you proud.
5. Getting There. About a year and a half ago, I started reading the Bible again. I'm about Five pages from having read it cover to cover. Like anything that sticks, changing myself has been a process that has taken time. I'm drinking less often than I used to and have start to remove things that I feel pollute the mind (or at least, mine). I'm very happy with the progress I've made and overjoyed at the support I've received from my friends. I'm very happy to have them and very loving family. Thank you all for helping me grow.
6. The Master Cleanse. Sweet Jesus, I think if you can help me get though this, you can get me through anything. Ten days without food. Only mint tea, Grade B Maple Syrup, Lemon Juice, Cayenne Pepper, Salt Water and Smooth Move Laxative Tea. I did and I felt I showed Jesus that I'm willing to do for him. It was a show of faith and cleared my mind. It's amazing at the freedom you can find when sex isn't a motivator.
7. A period of celibacy. I don't remember how long it was, but I committed to it. I think I went a month or something. NOw that I look back, I wish it were longer.
8 Turning 30. Yeah, so what. I turn 31 in 29 days. What's your point?
1. Foreclosure. I've found that this was a pretty big deal. It sucks to lose something you spend years to acquire and to have to lose it Life goes on. I also have to mention how greatful I am to Rick Hagfeldt for letting me stay with him when I really felt I had no place to go (or places to go where I didn't want to stay, or didn't feel right staying there). If you read this Rick, thank you. I am very blessed to have a friend like you. I wish you the best with your new partner, he's hot.
2. Alcohol Abuse. Well, I still engage in too much drinking every now and then, but am now deciding that's not how I want to be known. I've also started taking precautions to be sure I'm not driving drunk. Also, I'm finding my friends have really stepped up when show that I'm taking steps myself. Thank you Anton, Tony, Rocky, Brenda, Eric, Orlando and my parents. Thank you for keeping me in touch with what I know I need to do. I needed to feel like a real shit for my behavior and I'm glad you all had to balls to tell me I needed to get my shit together.
3. Carjacking. Shit happens, but I'm glad Joseph was with me. If not, I would have frozen my ass off without my jacket you grabbed for me. Rather than complian, I'm grateful that I had something to steal, rather than be the person who did the stealing.
4. The Phoenix Storm Board of Directors. Dear Lord.....thank you for helping me get through this. There were times when I felt I stood alone, but I realized I was there to be a voice for the players and that's what I did. I may not be the most dependable person on the board (and thank God I only finished someone's term at Secretary), but I did my best considering the challenging year I was living. I'm still a member, but can now take an at-large member position (like I'd previously thought). Thank you Steve, for your confidence in me. I only wish I could have made you proud.
5. Getting There. About a year and a half ago, I started reading the Bible again. I'm about Five pages from having read it cover to cover. Like anything that sticks, changing myself has been a process that has taken time. I'm drinking less often than I used to and have start to remove things that I feel pollute the mind (or at least, mine). I'm very happy with the progress I've made and overjoyed at the support I've received from my friends. I'm very happy to have them and very loving family. Thank you all for helping me grow.
6. The Master Cleanse. Sweet Jesus, I think if you can help me get though this, you can get me through anything. Ten days without food. Only mint tea, Grade B Maple Syrup, Lemon Juice, Cayenne Pepper, Salt Water and Smooth Move Laxative Tea. I did and I felt I showed Jesus that I'm willing to do for him. It was a show of faith and cleared my mind. It's amazing at the freedom you can find when sex isn't a motivator.
7. A period of celibacy. I don't remember how long it was, but I committed to it. I think I went a month or something. NOw that I look back, I wish it were longer.
8 Turning 30. Yeah, so what. I turn 31 in 29 days. What's your point?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)