Wednesday, October 22, 2008

So I Prayed About It

This last week, while at church, there was a guest pastor was introduced as an ex-homosexual who is now married and has nine kids. I forgot the term they used, but it was along the lines of "cured" or recovered. This sent me into an internal conflict I haven't seen since I was 18 years old and came out to my mother. I felt heaviness on my and asked God to tell me what is right and what is not.

He answered.

He helped me realize that I wasn't afraid of what how he felt toward me, but how THEY felt toward me. The people at my church don't know, yet, that I am gay and I am thinking I should follow suit with my friend Shane and go to a church where I am not afraid to tell people I am gay.


Xavierism said...

I've enjoyed reading your blog. This entry struck emotional chords. I probably would have felt the same as yourself had I been at this particular service. I can't believe that a church would actually bring someone in and allow them to speak about such a matter. This ranks right there with Rev. Wright and his political views. Those that are desperate and emotionally unstable may refuse to seek guidance or help for fear of consequences.

I know I'm asked often why I attend faiths that do not recognize me as being an equal. My belief is that I'm there because of my relationship with God. I love the traditions of the Catholic and Greek Orthodox churches. If either church had brought in someone like they did at your church, I probably would have left.

I hope you find a place of worship where you feel a spiritual connection. I do wish you all the best!

PS...HOOK 'em HORNS!!!!!!

Greg Gillum said...

Alfonzo - Statistics suggest that you were probably not the only gay person in the church listening to the "ex-homosexual's" ministry.

If he prayed to God and asked for His will to be done, then perhaps this person was not meant to live as a gay man. However, that is not a message that applies to everyone... just to him.

As you know, I am a minister with my Lutheran church in West Phoenix. My pastors have been the most accepting and loving church leaders I have ever known. Originally, I began attending this church as the new boyfriend of one of our members, so I was "out" since the start. Previously, I had been attending another church that is very welcoming, but struggles with its own issues on how to be a disciple of Jesus.

I encourage you to take a risk. Be brave. Check out other churches. God loves you more than you know. He wants His people to love others - and love Him.

It would be an honor to have you visit my church. Hey, it would be great to just talk more about it. If you ever feel that tug at your heart, send me an email.